The Final Pathetic Bleatings of the Forum
I humbly request the wisdom of The CubeReplies:
i wish to staple my boyfriend to the ceiling. how should i go about
[ simulated persona = "The Cube", node #77, max search depth 17%, neural variance 10.171 ]
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.
[ simulated persona = "The Borg Queen", node #245, max search depth 38%, neural variance 29.860 ]
- Place boyfriend on ceiling using antigravity field.
- Beam over a stapler from Office Depot.
- Activate stapler.
- Staple boyfriend.
- Deactivate gravity field.
- Assimilate stapler.
- Say "You will be assimilated."
- Assimilate boyfriend.
- Call yourself "1 of 2"
- Assimilate house
- Install warp engine on house
- Cut off the roof so as to make the house more cubical
- Fly into low orbit
- Fly over New York City
- Say "You will be assimilated"
- Cut out New York City
- Pull New York City into outer space using blueish tractor beam
- Assimilate New York City
- Fly into outer space.